Just like most girls I am completely oblivious to guys hitting on me until it’s too late; especially at the rock gym:

First of all, I’ve looked in the mirror today and honestly, I’m not screaming sex appeal. Actually I rolled out of bed this morning, didn’t do my hair and threw on whatever random things I found laying around that were cleanish and semi-presentable.

Now I’m covered from head to toe in sweat and climbing chalk with blood dripping from my left knee and all over my knuckles.  I just grunted loudly, fell face first from that V6 that I’ve been working on for weeks and still can’t finish (which is pissing me off by the way), and then – for good measure – cursed like a sailor in unladylike frustration. Yeah, I’m looking Victoria’s-Secret-Angel-hot right now!

 

 

Bring it on slabby problem!

 

Then there’s the whole “I’m climbing, you’re climbing, let’s climb together” thing. Most of my best friends are climbers – so why would I pass on the opportunity to make an awesome new climber buddy? It doesn’t occur to me that, “try crossing your right foot and then matching your hands” could really mean, “want to have dinner and maybe some sex later?” Unfortunately I’ve found myself in situations where it did!

‘Cause honestly, even if I didn’t have a boyfriend (who by the way is adorable, awesome, and loves me despite what I can only assume is his better judgment); I am still at the gym to crush out routes, not to play love connection, and I generally assume everyone else is too. Not that there’s anything wrong with meeting super cute, rugged climber guys at the gym, but sorry guys, that’s not in the forefront of our minds during a climbing session.

Having a boyfriend complicates things further because, in my supreme, unrelenting awkwardness, I have no clue when or how to casually play the boyfriend card. Is telling him I’m in a relationship unnecessary beta? I mean, what if the dude isn’t hitting on me? Suddenly and inexplicably announcing my relationship status would probably be a bit weird and off-putting:

Random guy: Way to throw to that sloper!

Me: Whoa! Hold it right there, bucko – I’ll have you know I have a boyfriend!

Random guy: Uhhhh…what? Umm…ok. Sorry?
Meanwhile he’s actually thinking: This chick is nuts.

But there is always the small chance that random dude winds up asking me to climb on rope with him. Not that this is always an invitation for sex either, but it certainly could be, and in my experience one must be prepared for this. So if I didn’t mention said boyfriend during bouldering hangout session, then Oh my barnacles am I feelin’ awkward!

For one thing, I definitely want to get on rope because I’m tired of bouldering, my fingertips are peeling and I need to work on my endurance. Plus I have several guy friends who I wouldn’t give a second thought about top-roping or lead climbing with, and what if I’m passing up the opportunity for a new amigo?

Ok, I'd probably hit on this sexy guy in his jorts.

Yet getting on rope is a point of no return, and after a route or two, not dropping the boyfriend bomb in a timely fashion is kinda like admitting to someone months after meeting them that you actually don’t know their name… Shit, shit, shit I should have mentioned the boyfriend thing earlier so I wouldn’t have to awkwardly mention boyfriend during rope session.

So then, what’s a girl to do? I mean, on one hand, I want to make friends and love climbing with new people; but on the other hand – I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea nor do I want to come across as being that girl who is so obsessed with her boyfriend that she can’t even talk to other guys.

Girls, how do you deal with this? As poorly and awkwardly as I do? Guys, how would you approach the situation?

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About erinobrien26

Boop.

4 responses »

  1. Kate says:

    I normally just climb on ropes anyway in order to avoid talking to people so they don’t realize how awkward I am.

    (Because I’m totally trying to get laid at ET all the time – climbing is irrelevant)

    In all seriousness, I just give dudes the benefit of the doubt and treat them as any potential new friend that I’m climbing with unless they’re really obviously drooling or spraying beta as a pretext for talking.

    • erinobrien26 says:

      I always had a sneaking suspician that you only climbed b/c you’re trying to get laid…no worries I won’t judge. LOL. I’ve learned to embrace my super awkwardness @ this point – it makes life interesting.

  2. LC says:

    I normally just wait for M to walk up, at which point I smile girlishly (i.e foolishly) up at him and wait for him to kiss me, or to say ‘Babe you looked good on that problem’ even if I fell off at the first move. Or you could just repeatedly mention B by name until the guy ask’s who B. is, to which you then casually respond, ‘oh, didn’t I mention? B is my hard climbing, problem crushing boyfriend. You two would get along really well’ (even if they wouldn’t)
    But thats just me, and I wouldn’t take my advice.

    • erinobrien26 says:

      HAHA – I can see it now…

      “Oh, you’re having trouble starting that? Well Matt didn’t have any trouble – try flagging your left foot. Well that’s what Matt did anyways, but he’s a really good climber…”

      “Who is Matt?”

      Bada-BOOM! Good advice 🙂

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