While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Umm. I hate to be nit-picky, but this is gluten-free; right?”Matthew 26:26

Even Jesus had the occasional rumble in the jungle. Sure he could make blind men see and lame men walk, but whoa…please do not pass him the Gorgonzola.

Luckily it’s the 21st Century, and today’s religious don’t have to “suffer in silence” because many forward-thinking churches offer a gluten free Jesus option for Communion. Yet I think there is still room for improvement. So today I unveil my new line of Jesus Wafer Customization Options for all your Tran-substantiated Jesus Wafer Needs!

Supplies are limited, so place your order today!

BUT WAIT! As a special New Years offer, call in the next 15 minutes for a free sample of our newest product – Hepatitis Free Jesus! Call now! Operators are standing by!


About erinobrien26


4 responses »

  1. Mommy says:

    You kill me Pooh! I laughed so hard I can’t stand it. Live and Active Cultures is my personal favorite 🙂

  2. Lindsay says:

    I like the infant Jesus… Jesus veal if you will.

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