This post is inspired by an awesome book – If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

Disclaimer: In all actuality, I believe that you should instead consider donating your money to organizations that help the homeless and work with drug addicts to overcome their addictions than to “give a crack head a dollar.”

Just keep your head down and pray for a green light.

If a shaking crack head is on the corner of President and Pratt, you might want to give him a glance –

At least he's honest.

But if you give a crack head a glance, he is going to ask for a dollar.

He'll accept quarters too.

When you give him a dollar, he’ll probably ask for your ipod.

They say silence is golden.

When he’s snatched that, he’ll ask for your bicycle.

One of the two bikes I've had stolen from me 😦

Then he’ll want to look in your bag to make sure he didn’t miss anything.

Remember when all the cool kids were rockin' Jansports?

When he looks in your bag, he might notice you have your lunch. So he will probably ask for your sandwich.

Hopefully he's not allergic to peanuts, because if he is, he'll probably sue you - and win.

When he’s finished eating your sandwich, he’ll want a soda to wash it down. He’ll start pleading. He might get carried away and start insisting. He might even wind up following you down the street as well!

I mean...it's called Coke after all.

When he’s done, he’ll probably want to take a nap. You will have to fix a little box for him with a blanket and pillow. He’ll crawl in, make himself comfortable and fluff the pillow a few times.* this bit is directly from the book, but it fit too perfectly 🙂

"And it had better be memory foam!"

He’ll probably ask you to let him take your car. So you’ll give him your keys, and he’ll ask for some gas money. When you give him gas money, he’ll get so excited he’ll start shaking all over again. He’ll ask for your debit card.

...told ya.

He’ll go to the ATM. When he’s inserted your card, he’ll want your PIIN number.

I flippin' love clip art!

Then he’ll want you to write him a check, which means he will need… your signature.

I like that pen...that is a NICE pen.

He’ll hold up his new check and lean back to look at it. Looking at it will remind him of crack so…he’ll ask for a dollar. And chances are, if he asks for a dollar, he’s gonna want your ipod to go with it.

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About erinobrien26

Boop.

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